"You're In Good Company," Thanks for Reading
When I
started this blog in February of this year, I was filled with equal parts
exhilaration and fear. Writing has
always been how I made sense of the world, and now I would be placing it in a
public forum where the words would remain and maybe, if I was lucky, make sense
to other people as well.
There
are many days when I sit down and have no idea what to say, consider that maybe
my ideas are tapped out, and I want to move on to something else, but like
anything in life, anything that moves you, drives you, fascinates you—you are
compelled to do that very thing. So I
want to thank you, thank you for sharing in this compulsion with me by reading
what I have to say, and commenting, sharing, and subscribing.
It’s
with true surprise and more than a little gratitude that I share that I’ve been
nominated for a Liebster Award from Faith, Family and Focaccia. From everything I can gather, a Liebster
(meaning “dearest” in German) is the People’s Choice of blogging awards because
it comes from other bloggers who are out to discover voices that ring some
truth in tandem with their own. It is for
bloggers who have an audience of under 200 and there are some rules
involved. You have to offer 11 facts
about yourself, and answer 11 questions posed to you and then set another 11
for those you, in turn, nominate.
So I,
like my nominator, am unsure about the audience for the blogs that I have
nominated, and am just offering them here because I discovered them, and I enjoy
reading them and hope you will too.
And I
have to tell you, the first order of business, the presentation of “Facts”—well
these have had me meandering and fidgety and on all sorts of avoidance detail,
because this, well this is exposure.
Single light bulb kind, interrogation room reminiscent and hard to craft
into something other than plain original flavored truth. But here they are nonetheless, in no
particular order.
A Few Facts About Me
1. I believe in God and in Christ and call for an
all-inclusive Church for which there is no separation from one another and plenty of room for necessary healing. I believe that grace abounds enough in each
person to see forgiveness for what it is, and that fear of what is unrecognizable to our own living is the only thing that
divides us. The command to “love one
another,” is the truest, kindest and hardest call to action we have, but
without it we are destined for chaos and all manners of ill. We must combat fear that gives birth to
ignorance and enmity with love.
(Galatians 3:28)
2. I think Abbey Road is the best album of all
time. It is hard to imagine my life’s
soundtrack
without one of those songs humming alongside of it. I don’t care who you are and what you like,
you need to at least listen to it. It
is in our cultural vernacular now. And
while we’re on the subject, I like listening to ‘80s music. And I make no apologies for it. Well except for “Come on Eileen.” I have no idea why that song was there or
why everyone wore overalls in the video.
Howard Jones’ “Things Can Only Get Better” still makes me smile when I
hear it on Sirius though as does Simple Minds “Don’t You Forget About Me,” if anyone tells
you they don’t like it or The Breakfast Club or John Hughes, they’re just
lying. I mean really. (Any of those tunes are a rarity for my
hearing though because
I think the Curious George soundtrack has been
jammed into my CD player since 2006.)
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Buy Beatles |
I think the Curious George soundtrack has been
jammed into my CD player since 2006.)
4. I do not
watch reality television.
I.cannot.stand.it. I think it
has completely
discombobulated the world.
There are so many of these shows that I worry that the slippage between
what is real and what is imagined has completely been lost. I understand the impulse to be a
voyeur. But such illicit viewing is no
longer a forbidden fruit when it is scripted and displayed in such a way that
it mocks what we know to be true. Take a look at Griffin & Sabine and
be satisfied. Then open a book. And go on a bike ride. And do something that has nothing to do with
any kind of Kardashian. Please.
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The BookFiend |
5. I am inspired by my people and great music. My friends, my family and the authors and
mischief makers that
offer me new truths at every step. They set words to music and allow me to
dance along with them. I couldn’t write
without reading them, sitting with them or listening to them. There is no genre of rhythm that is safe from me, and I can find something in every kind of sound that moves me to write something that I didn't know was there. And I am so lucky that God keeps me crashing into these points of reference at full speed…and often, loudly.
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Jack Kerouac |
do not like to exercise, but I like how I feel afterwards. I was about as small as a blade of grass for a looooong
time. Then I hit 30. Then my metabolism was like molasses. Thick and unmoving and just sitting there. But I do it because otherwise my thighs and I don’t get along. It’s so much better when you get along with yourself right? And a strong body equals a strong mind. I’m really lucky because I have made some amazing friends who are all doing the same thing and we laugh with each other, and it makes everything better. Even exercise. I mean pretty much.
7. I am an introvert.
I used to be an extrovert and made friends easily, but on June 10th
2004, I found myself settling into someone who just couldn’t release
well. It was as though the grief took
root and made me do an interior CT scan of what I could give. And for a long while, it was only to my
family. As it settled into a dull ache,
I was able to venture out more, but it isn’t my strong suit at present. But it’s worth the time to bump into me a
bit, because I’m about as loyal as Lassie and extremely reliable too. It takes awhile to crack a nut I guess, and
I’m as nutty as they come. It’ll be
worth it though, promise.

9. I
read. A lot. When my father took me to get
my library card for the first time, it felt like I just stepped into magic. Worlds opened and so did my imagination. I read everywhere and anywhere, stayed up late, and brought my books to the table. It got to be a problem, so much so my Dad banned me from eating and reading. So that’s still the peach for me—to get to enjoy a book while eating something lovely with a perfect cup of Hediard tea. I can’t decide on a favorite author, though I love many. I have a beloved series of Anne books by L.M. Montgomery; I still re-read them, I think they are brilliant, funny, poignant and brave. My favorite book is Montgomery’s The Blue Castle, and my husband got me a first edition for my birthday one year. (I still have a much-loved paperback for emergencies though.) My graduate degree is in literature but if I got to go back again, I'd pursue one in theology, with a specific emphasis on the double divine and the "Gospel" of Mary.
10. I think the United States is an amazing country, filled with opportunity and an essential instinct to survive that is hallmark to its history. I understand why my parents came here because it is a place where you can make your own future despite what you were anywhere else.
Reinvention is a hallmark of this place and it is a grand thing, especially when you think of how much censorship is prevalent everywhere else in the world. Information is not accessible, and neither is opportunity. There are places where your surname or your gender bans you from education, and the brightest may still find themselves without hope. Where small amounts of medication are unknown and disease is rampant. We have problems aplenty, but the upside is we have the power and the ability for change. It’s written into the very laws here. That’s awe-inspiring, isn’t it?
my library card for the first time, it felt like I just stepped into magic. Worlds opened and so did my imagination. I read everywhere and anywhere, stayed up late, and brought my books to the table. It got to be a problem, so much so my Dad banned me from eating and reading. So that’s still the peach for me—to get to enjoy a book while eating something lovely with a perfect cup of Hediard tea. I can’t decide on a favorite author, though I love many. I have a beloved series of Anne books by L.M. Montgomery; I still re-read them, I think they are brilliant, funny, poignant and brave. My favorite book is Montgomery’s The Blue Castle, and my husband got me a first edition for my birthday one year. (I still have a much-loved paperback for emergencies though.) My graduate degree is in literature but if I got to go back again, I'd pursue one in theology, with a specific emphasis on the double divine and the "Gospel" of Mary.
10. I think the United States is an amazing country, filled with opportunity and an essential instinct to survive that is hallmark to its history. I understand why my parents came here because it is a place where you can make your own future despite what you were anywhere else.
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The Smithsonian Museum of American History is my favorite |

and they hold all the keys to whatever is
locked away. To my incessant surprise, I find myself more in love with them every day. As challenging as motherhood is, and no matter how many times I wonder “what if,” I can see how they are changing before my eyes, and it is humbling. I'm grateful that I still have time to imprint some lessons. My ship is secure if they are all safely on board and not fighting over the last piece of pizza or cake. Or some combination thereof.
My questions from Serena Gideon Rice of
Faith, Family and Focaccia
1. What does the word “faith” mean to
you? I think the only answer I have to
that is in Hebrews 11:1. It isn’t
something to see but feel, not to touch but know. Faith is as intangible and as enduring as love. I would not be overstating the case to say
that I would be lesser and lonelier without it.
2. Were you raised in a particular
faith, and what meaning does that faith (or non-faith) upbringing have for
you now? I was raised in the Mar Thoma Church of India which is sister church to the Anglican Church and the Episcopal
Church in the U.S. When I married, I
converted to Catholicism. I was raised
in a household where prayer was taken seriously and as a family. This was a difficult alignment when I
married as that was not my husband’s experience. I did not reconcile the two until I went through the First
Communion preparations with my oldest son.
In teaching Joe what was to come in the sacrament helped me understand
it better than I could have in any other way.
I am proud of Pope Francis’ outreach to those
who have felt marginalized in the past by the church, the hard line he has taken on the abuse that has all but broken it, and the call to
healing. It is a daunting task, but the
conversation has begun. It’s a
different faith formation than when my husband went through it as a "cradle Catholic." When Joe (and all of our children) reaches Confirmation, it will be
his decision to continue as a Catholic or to seek a different church home, and
we will support him in whatever decision he makes. I tell my children that it doesn’t matter when you talk to God,
as long as you talk to him because he is waiting with eager anticipation to
hear from you.
3. Assuming there is a God, would you
want a personal encounter with God tomorrow, and what would you expect? I believe there is a God, and I believe in
the Trinity. I feel like I do have
personal encounters with God all the time.
It took me a long time to listen, and once I did, I could hear. I know he wants the best for me, and that
brings me great peace. One day, I look
forward to holding my mother again, and meeting the brother I never got to know, and the children we’ve lost.
4. What do you think is the best role
that faith can play in interacting with culture? The biggest mistake we make is imposing beliefs rather than
listening to others. My father’s best
friend in medical college was a Muslim, and he was the gentlest man I ever
knew. Denominations, the church, these
are man-made constructs that offer division and disagreement; compassion,
loyalty, humanity, grace—these are gifts from God that belong to everyone. Everyone is in. Everyone
has a place. We need to begin there, talking
from a place of interest rather than fear.
5. What does the word “family” mean to
you? Safety and surety. But it is not that for many. I feel like with family I am allowed
missteps, I am allowed to falter. Since
my mother passed away and my father’s dementia, my location of family has
become necessarily smaller. I am
fortunate that I have cousins and my aunt and uncle that I can go to, but it is
not exactly the same. I feel like I
cannot impose on them, it has drawn me into my husband and my children. It has forced me to whip stitch around them
and to lean in.
6. What is your first memory with your
family? My earliest memory is of my
mother, I remember walking down the hallway of our apartment in Arlington and she was at the stove. She
offered me a wide smile and said, “Good morning kutta.” I didn’t realize then how much of her world
was pulled around me.
7. Growing up, did your most important
influences come from inside or outside your immediate family? As an only child, I was far too influenced
by my friends than my family. I wanted
the close relationships I felt were missing from my life and that I attributed
to siblings (even though I know now that having a sibling does not necessarily mean having a close relationship) so I allowed that influence to take over and, in a
lot of ways, that was to my detriment.
My father was a functioning alcoholic, growing up in that home was not
easy. There was a lot of unevenness and
emotional pain; I think it pressed me to seek sympathy or attention in ways
that were dishonest. I was bitter for a
long time, but I can see now that it was a matter of survival, for my mother
and me. She did the best she could with
a person who was broken and who she loved.
I’m trying very hard to understand that and learn from it. I’ve been fortunate that the people I pushed
away as I was trying to come to terms with it all have welcomed me back with
such constancy, particularly close high school, college friends and sorority
sisters. I’m so grateful to have them
back.
8. What role does “family” play in your
life now, and why? As I mentioned
before, my family has become smaller. I
have an aunt who I have always been very close to; she’s always been like
another mother to me. We shared a love
of books and were very close even before my mother was sick. I’ve leaned a lot on her and my uncle for
parental support that I haven’t had in many years. Now my family really consists of them, my cousins and my own
family. Family matters the most,
without that foundation, I don’t think my children will have the courage to
try.
9. What does the word “culture” mean to
you? I’m an
Indian-American. I was born in
Kerala. I am a minority whose parents immigrated from India at a
time when there were not as many Indian-Americans represented here. I went to a predominantly white school. Further, as an Indian Christian, I knew
nothing about Hindu religious customs or holidays. I was far and away removed from it and could not answer the
questions posed to me about it. And I
couldn’t really claim a space in those groups for Indian kids, because I didn’t
speak Hindi or celebrate those holidays.
It was dual exclusion. And it
wasn’t easy. Not American enough for
one side and not Indian enough for another.
For me culture is indicative of what we experience both intellectually
and organically with what is around us.
So where we are affects it. We
live in a pretty homogeneous upper middle-class area; there is some
diversity. But we live diversity; we
affirm cultural difference in our day-to-day lives because of my upbringing and
race.
10. How do you feel about the culture you
were raised in? I was raised in Northern
Virginia. My parents decided to settle
there because of the school system, it is one of the best in the nation. I loved where I grew up. We were a stone’s throw from D.C., and I
grew up thinking museums were free and everyone had tried Ethiopian food and knew what was happening in the world. I had no idea how rich that experience would
be. At the same time though, I
experienced a significant level of prejudice in both covert and overt
ways. From name calling and yelling at
stores and in the street about our “dirty” race to school drama made crueler because of my racial difference. I remember my high school
biology teacher, Mr. Adams, telling me that he didn’t want to see me astride the
elephant in the Natural History Museum when we went on a field trip. I can’t imagine that happening today, but
then it was considered fine. It was
tough, now it is cool to be from another culture or to be exposed to it, but it wasn't as I was growing up. It'd be interesting to see what those classmates had to say now about our collective memories of those years.
11. If you had to live in another culture
for the next three years, which culture would you choose and why? My first thought when I read this was the
U.K., either Ireland or England.
Probably Ireland. My husband’s
family hails from there—Counties Clare and Cahersiveen. It is different enough from our lives here
that it would offer the children a chance to see the world but it is familiar enough
in that my friends who have been say that there is commensurate experience in
having been colonized country that there is an understanding there of being marginalized that is hard to translate elsewhere.
Please check out Faith, Family and Focaccia while you're looking at blogs I mention below:
Now for my nominees--I don't know about the followers, they deserve all the audience they do have though, so take a peek and stay awhile at:
Holli Long: Joy is the Grace
A Modern-Day Margery Raves On
Please check out Faith, Family and Focaccia while you're looking at blogs I mention below:
Now for my nominees--I don't know about the followers, they deserve all the audience they do have though, so take a peek and stay awhile at:
Holli Long: Joy is the Grace
A Modern-Day Margery Raves On
Should you choose to accept the nomination, please remember the following rules:
(The rabble-rouser that I am, I altered the number of the blogs and number of questions. The whole purpose of the nomination and the award--and you have it, I gather, once you've been nominated and take on answering the questions--is to connect writers to other writers in this worldwide blogging community and give them increased exposure. Serena explains it so much better in her post, so check that out for questions.)
- The nominated blogger must provide a link back to this blog.
- You need to provide 11 facts about yourself.
- You need to answer 11 questions asked of you. (I only asked 7, I think it's a good number.)
- Choose more people and ask them questions of your choosing.
2.
What makes you the happiest? Why?
3.
What would I be the most surprised to
know about you?
4.
What do you sing when you are alone?
5.
Whose writing do you look up to and gather
encouragement from? Why?
6.
Who are you the most like in your family?
7.
What is the most important thing you want
your readers to know about you?
So it's a wrap! Thank you all for reading. If you want to subscribe, you can put your email in the box up to the right ä.
If you’d really like to but you don’t like having your inbox cluttered, consider subscribing via a reader like bloglovin'. You can click on this button
also to the right ä.
However you decide to spend some time and have tea with me--thank you. I am so grateful for you. Cheers!
So it's a wrap! Thank you all for reading. If you want to subscribe, you can put your email in the box up to the right ä.
If you’d really like to but you don’t like having your inbox cluttered, consider subscribing via a reader like bloglovin'. You can click on this button

bloglovin’ is a reader service, so you get ONE email in your inbox that covers all the blogs you want to follow. It’s a great solution to inbox clutter. You can just type in my blog address: www.smhallisey.com and add that to the blogs you wish to read. Simple!
However you decide to spend some time and have tea with me--thank you. I am so grateful for you. Cheers!